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vom_marlowe ([personal profile] vom_marlowe) wrote2012-10-30 05:40 pm
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I do not like eggs.

Not even a little bit.

In fact, I hate eggs.  I won't eat them, unless they're heavily disguised in a bread product.  Eggs are the only food that I refuse to eat (except for things that I'm allergic to, which doesn't count). 

When an angry friend who thought she was God's Gift To Cooking decided to serve tofu, dredged in yellow cornmeal and then 'fried' in Pam cooking spray on a non-stick skillet until the tofu got kind of funky tasting and the cornmeal bits turned sort of black and charry, accompanied by Uncle Ben's instant, frost-burned microwaved wet and slimy broccoli, I actually consumed that food with a pleasant smile like unto a statue.  I wasn't happy about it, but I did it.  I put that food in my mouth, chewed, swallowed, and finished my serving. 

But if I am served with a plate of eggs, I have to look away.  

They are gross, creepy weird things, and I do not like them. 

Which brings us to this evening.  The Pook's ultra-natural single ingredient special dog diet was delayed because of the storm, so he's been eating nothing but rice and yogurt for the past few days. Yogurt is one of the few proteins his IBD digestive system can have.  Normally, he likes the occasional yogurt meal, but this morning, he sighed over his dairy product and looked peaky.  The only other proteins are venison, duck, and....eggs.

So tonight....did I?

Poll #11946 exciting poll
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 7


What did Vom serve the Pookie?

View Answers

hard boiled eggs from the Whole Foods
0 (0.0%)

hard boiled eggs, but only if they came pre-peeled
0 (0.0%)

you got takeout eggs cooked by other people, at least, right?
0 (0.0%)

don't tell me you cooked him eggs
7 (100.0%)

oh no, you really did make him eggs

View Answers

tell me that you stuck with something simple like hard boiled
0 (0.0%)

or scrambled. you did scrambled, right?
1 (14.3%)

*peers worriedly* these wouldn't happen to be artisianal local eggs from known hens, would they?
2 (28.6%)

cooked in butter?
1 (14.3%)

with...not special sea salt. tell me there was no adding of salt and freshly ground pepper
1 (14.3%)

more ticky boxes? not...at least just a little water, yes?
0 (0.0%)

hopefully just water, salt, pepper
0 (0.0%)

probably not half and half
1 (14.3%)

maybe dogs like half and half
1 (14.3%)

naturally, you used butter, sea salt, half and half, black pepper, and the french omelette method
5 (71.4%)

...more options?

View Answers

this is kind of nuts, even for you
0 (0.0%)

this endearing, but worrying
1 (14.3%)

actually, I find this charming
3 (42.9%)

i'm only surprised you didn't garnish with gruyere and sprig of homegrown parsley
3 (42.9%)

or truffle oil
2 (28.6%)

but perhaps dogs can't have truffle oil
2 (28.6%)

you didn't *really* use half and half, right?
1 (14.3%)

i'm eating at your house
3 (42.9%)

you just like ticky boxes
1 (14.3%)

no, but seriously, artisianal eggs? the dog eats goose poop
4 (57.1%)

finally

View Answers

ticky is love
2 (28.6%)

ticky is eating at your house tomorrow
3 (42.9%)

ticky would like to avoid all the weird egg stuff and just note that they have survived the storm fine and are doing OK
2 (28.6%)

ticky is a little worried that you don't get out much
3 (42.9%)



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