Time time time
Aug. 5th, 2013 02:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vom_marloweI was working on a piece of writing today.
It's gray and rainy today, here in my suburban home, hidden in a forest, surrounded by trees. When I biked, I passed a kid with training wheels, helmet, happy. Took my dog walking, didn't worry a single moment. I sit on my porch, look around, am grateful.
But...
Sometimes, like today, my heart aches for the old world. Stupid. I know it. I wouldn't go back there. I wouldn't put my family back there. I'm still proud of getting out, getting up.
But....
Sometimes I miss it.
I heard there was a murder, not five blocks from my last house. Heard what it was about. Thought to myself, I bet R was one of them. Yeah, I wouldn't go back.
And yet, I miss it.
Put on some Tom Waits, closed my eyes, just remembered.
Well, things are pretty lousy for a calendar girl
The boys just dive right off the cars
And splash into the street
And when she's on a roll she pulls a razor
From her boot and a thousand
Pigeons fall around her feet
And the thing you can't remember, tell the things you can't forget.
Oh yeah, sometimes I miss it. That world I understood, that knew me right back. Not that we were fond, that world and I. We never were. But we understood each other.
It's gray and rainy today, here in my suburban home, hidden in a forest, surrounded by trees. When I biked, I passed a kid with training wheels, helmet, happy. Took my dog walking, didn't worry a single moment. I sit on my porch, look around, am grateful.
But...
Sometimes, like today, my heart aches for the old world. Stupid. I know it. I wouldn't go back there. I wouldn't put my family back there. I'm still proud of getting out, getting up.
But....
Sometimes I miss it.
I heard there was a murder, not five blocks from my last house. Heard what it was about. Thought to myself, I bet R was one of them. Yeah, I wouldn't go back.
And yet, I miss it.
Put on some Tom Waits, closed my eyes, just remembered.
Well, things are pretty lousy for a calendar girl
The boys just dive right off the cars
And splash into the street
And when she's on a roll she pulls a razor
From her boot and a thousand
Pigeons fall around her feet
And the thing you can't remember, tell the things you can't forget.
Oh yeah, sometimes I miss it. That world I understood, that knew me right back. Not that we were fond, that world and I. We never were. But we understood each other.