The Dreaded Time of Year: Squash-pa-looza

[vom_marlowe]

Look, I'm getting desperate over here.  I now have NINE tromboncinos lurking on my damn kitchen table, and this is after I gave away several.  The vines have spread so far that they've climbed over my bean bed, through a tomato patch, and out the other side.  One vine has a runner that is, my hand to god, a good twenty feet long.  It has nearly reached the fence line and appears to be headed for the neighbor's house.

Each of these long trailing vine-fiends has baby squash on them.  I saw one of the rabbits go in the patch, but I haven't seen it come out.  Maybe the squash ate them.  Maybe the rabbits hollowed one out to build a home.  I fear the dog will approach too closely and be nabbled up, and he's a good eighty pounds.  These suckers have to be feeding off something.

Some of the squash in my kitchen are four pounds EACH.  Others are "only" two and a half pounds.  People, I have nearly forty pounds of squash here.  Half of which I picked yesterday. 

I have so far made:
Grilled squash
Squash lasagne (with squash "noodles")
Boiled squash
Squash muffins, squash pies
Squash bread
Side-squash
Squash salads
Squash kebabs
Squash sliced, breaded, baked, and made into zuke sticks with dipping sauce

I instituted a one squash per person per day rule, but it isn't helping.  The squashy fiends have far-outstripped our current nomming efforts, and I've started trying to feed them to the dog, who is doing his best to help out, but he's getting on in his years, and he told me he can only manage half a squash if I add some butter to it and give him time to gnaw them because his teeth aren't what they used to be.   

What am I going to do?  I looked out this morning, and even from my porch, I could see two more light green squash lighted up like mini-lanterns, ready to be picked.  Tomorrow, they'll probably weigh another pound. 

Help. Help.

Pls send recipes knthnxbai

Comments

[kore]

Invasion of the goooooooooooourds!

Is there a nearby food pantry or church or whatever you could donate excess to, if you really need to unload some? I dunno if official food banks take private donations, but some places around here take surplus from farmer's markets, &c.

[vom_marlowe]

That's a good idea! I'll make some calls.

[loligo]

I'll bet that even if your local food bank doesn't take individual produce donations (and they probably do), any soup kitchen or shelter that prepares meals would take them.

That is awesome squash production! My church has a garden this year specifically for growing food for the local shelter, and we only managed 90 lbs of zukes before they pooped out.

[yhlee]

I wish I could take a few off your hands! I'm the person who can't even find squash in the produce section of the local supermarkets...it's like they're invisible to my eyes or something.

[jjhunter]

Can they be frozen in some fashion? Squash bread sounds like that might work...

New thing to try: adding lightly sauteed squash slices to homemade or home-enhanced pizza before putting it in the oven. Goes well with walnuts, bit o' lemon peel, basil, cheese, touch of olive oil, + wheat or white crust, or other variants of your choosing / musing.

[thistleingrey]

Wow. Props to you for successful growing! I would've liked my one zucchini plant to have produced more gourds this year, but this is kind of why I had only the one.

[rilina]

Smitten Kitchen has a number of recipes. I liked the zucchini fritters: http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2011/08/zucchini-fritters/. Though I like fritters in general!

[daedala]

LOL, I would totally volunteer to be a squash sink if I were local.

[daedala]

Wait, these are like zucchini, right? I just remembered something for you!

http://www.nytimes.com/1982/05/19/garden/a-few-easy-methods-for-freezing-that-bountiful-harvest.html

I suspect you'd like reading Capon's cookbooks. This appears to be taken verbatim from one, though it's been a while.